Just say 'no'...

If you have ever perused those articles titled something like: '16 steps to simplify your life' or 'how to de-stress your life in 8 easy steps' you will inevitable come across the suggestion: Just say no.

'Just say no' meaning learn it's ok to just say no to situations, projects or events that will end up overburdening your schedule, your mind, your stress level and everything in between. We are an over-booked society where even our kids don't have down time because they are too busy going to school, followed by a rushed dinner, then off to some sort of practice, then homework every single day. Not to mention, some parents sign their kids up for multiple teams/extra-cirricular activities so they are always doing this schedule all year round - then weekends are taken up with games, recitals, classes...too much, is too much.

I do not have kids but over the past year or two I have finally come to terms with the fact that I have a low stress threshold. Something's gotta give. So, (reflecting back on the past year +) after the hub-bub of wedding planning, on top of Relay for Life team planning, followed by 'Fair-time' at work...I decided that for one year, I would say 'No' to anything extra and just try to simplify my schedule and my to-do list, with the exception of a new job. You see, I have the habit of coming up with these "great ideas" which throws me head-long into a project or situation that requires more focus, attention, time and patience than I usually have. But I just can't say no... (hence why a '2 hour scarf' knitting pattern will literally take me 9 months - theres other things to do!)

The first time I went against this 'say no' thing was when I started this blog  :) (Negative 1 point for the project already...)

Then the new job I got turned out to be a full-time position with an hour and a half round-trip commute. Now I really needed all the extra time and sleep I could afford. *On a side note, to all you ladies out there who work full time, I salute you. And for all you out there working full time with more than a hour and a half round-trip commute...I think you're crazy...*

I had interviewed for a part time position as event monitor 9 months ago and was offered the position! Way exciting to me, side work in events! Buuuuut...I had to say no....with some helpful prompting of my husband. Sigh...score one for me...

Plus I decided at the beginning of this that since I was cleaning out my schedule and to-do list, I may as well clean out the house. Cull all the extra crud that makes messes around the house. I got through a bunch of stuff, but still...I'm surrounded by mess and have no energy to deal with it. This sucks.

Also getting cleaned up is my email inbox. I'm down to 530 messages in it! Woo hoo! (Down from over 1,600 just a couple months ago.)

Now, I'm still trying to get used to this 'full-time work' business with a little commuting and all of a sudden my nights and weekends are getting filled with things to do! But I have to have a life, right?? What's a girl to do? I crave my me time and my sleep...but I like to have money to buy groceries with...sigh, I guess there's NO compromise. Hehe, that counts as a no, right? >:)

So, I'm jumping back on the bandwagon, shuffling through my schedule, my finances, and my clutter in an attempt to simplify my life. I picture myself being as happy as those centenarians I've seen featured in the Blue Zones books and videos. Happy, lower stress, healthy, simple living. These people often live in the hills without much! All my stuff makes me stressed and I refuse to be a hoarder - not just in items around my house, but in items clogging up my mental space.

So far, in the few opportunities I have actually done this, I feel both freed, and like a failure. In this society being busy is GOOD! Being over-busy = BETTER! But I have resolved to (as the Duggers say it) live like no onelse now, so that I can live like no onelse later.

How bout you? Does this sound like something you need in your own life? Or do you think this is just plain laziness?

5 Day Husband Project Giveaway Winner!

So the 5 days are up, how did it go?
I know my hubby loved it, even though he knew what was going on by the end of each night. (The perils of having a public blog!)

It was perfect timing because right after completing Project 5 - he left for a whole weekend of camping! So I feel like I had the opportunity to send him off into the wilderness feeling loved ;) And after all that 'work' I got my own reward of having the house to myself! hehe! (Only-child tendencies = love for alone time)

I loved reading everyone's responses to the projects! It sounds like I'm not the only one with a happy hubby after the project. Thanks to Kathi Lipp, I have been given the book The Husband Project to giveaway to one of my readers! Yay! I only wish I had one for everyone. :( But since I don't I went to random.org to have a number picked, based on comment entries. And the winner is....Carisa Bowen! Congratulations!

I highly recommend checking this book out! You can check it out on Amazon, or I hear Borders is still having some pretty good going-out-of-business sales! ;)

I look forward to continuing the project, and hopefully updating you guys on the progress! In the mean time, it's time to step away from the computer, go find your husband, look him in the eye and say "I love you and I am so proud of you for everything you do" and then kiss him like you mean it! Go do it now! :)

Short description of The Husband Project

Do you feel like your marriage has gone from "I do" to "What did I do?" Recapture the romance that made you and your husband fall in love in the first place. The Husband Project provides 21 days of fun activities to show love and honor to your husband.  Kathi Lipp will help you discover:

• Proven ways to return fun and flirting to your marriage.
• Inner assurance to meet your husband’s unspoken emotional needs.
• Increased confidence when it comes to meeting your husbands sexual needs.
• New levels of warmth and tenderness in your relationship.
• A deeper sense of security with your husband.
• A greater ability to boost your husband’s belief in himself.

If you enjoyed this project, hop on over to one of my favorite blogs Women Living Well for her Make Your Home a Haven fall challenge!

Day #5 - E-flirt.com

Project #5

E-flirt.com

Text or E-mail Some Sweet Nothings

“I turn on my computer. I wait patiently as it connects. I go online. My breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words, “You’ve got Mail.” I hear nothing, not a sound on the streets of New York. Just the beat of my own heart… I have mail, from you.”
Meg Ryan as Kathleen Kennedy in “You’ve Got Mail

Your Project
Send a flirty text or e-mail to your husband.

Getting Creative

• Use an e-card service (hallmark.com or americangreetings.com) to send a cute and flirty note.
• Don’t know how to text? Ask any teenager in the general vicinity.
• Most phones have a camera feature where you can send a photo message. Be sure to keep it G rated so that he doesn’t get in trouble at work. ;)

How it went…

It’s not uncommon for my husband and I to text love messages, but I think any reason is a good reason to text more love! I've done this a couple times this week with no response - but he's been busy working. So I nailed him with a 'love you!' on facebook today. :) One thing is for certain, whether he replies or not, I feel there's some sort of benefit of just sending him good love vibes. (Often times he replies with a 'love you too'...if he didn't beat me to the punch and text me first!) These back and forth messages also can take place over facebook. Show your husband you love him in front of all your friends and family! (if that's not too much cyber PDA)

What did you do?

After you complete this project, come back and post your name and your results for Project #5 below, every time you post your results to a project you're entered to win a copy of The Husband Project! For additional entries, post your results after each project. (i.e. you can enter to win up to 5 times by posting your results on every project) At the end of the project I will pick a winner at random Sunday 9/25 evening.


And don't forget to post what you did on Project #4!

Project #4 - Heart vs. Stomach

Project #4

Heart vs. Stomach

A Treat Just for Him

"Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high." - Adrienne E. Gusoff

Actually, that quote may be more suited for one of the bonus projects…

 "You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by his way of eating jellybeans."
-Ronald Reagan

Your Project:
Get a food treat for your husband that he’s not required to share with you or any other family member.

Getting Creative
Stumped for ideas? Here are some thoughts:

• Get his favorite pint of Ben & Jerry’s and hide it behind the frozen chicken. Even if you buy it on Tuesday, you’ll have it ready and waiting for his special night later in the week.
• Is there a certain cut of meat that your husband loves? How about having the butcher cut something just for him? Most supermarkets will even do the marinade for you – one less thing to think about.
• Is there a certain candy that your husband loves from his childhood? Check out www.candywarehouse.com. They have all the nostalgic candy you could want (Black Jack Gum, anyone?) while also carrying any modern favorite you could be looking for.
• Does your husband’s family love a special dish? Learn how to make this special dish just for him.
• My guy loves the smell of baking almost as much as he enjoys eating the treat. Have some brownies in the oven when he gets home from work or working out. (I know, it negates the workout, but isn’t chocolate always worth it?)
• Our friend Scott mentioned that he loves cranberry sauce, but eats it only at Thanksgiving. His wife intentionally made the holiday treat for him this past July.
• Are you a wife who is an expert at low-cal salads and other forms of chick-food? Check out The Ultimate Guide to Man Food at www.kathilipp.com for ideas

How it went…

My husband is fairly easy to please when it comes to food. (Thank goodness because I’m not a great cook by nature!) But one special treat that I love to surprise him with is peanut butter cup treats. Not only is this his favorite treat, I know his favorite way of eating it is frozen. Since it’s getting closer to Halloween there is an abundance of candy out, including peanut butter pumpkins! So you know I had to get one (or more) for him. I love the smile on his face when he finds the little nuggets of goodness hiding out in the freezer. :)

What did you do?

After you complete this project, come back and post your name and results for Project #4 below, every time you post your results to a project you're entered to win a copy of The Husband Project! For additional entries, post your results after each project. (i.e. you can enter to win up to 5 times by posting your results on every project) At the end of the project I will pick a winner at random Sunday evening 9/25.

And don't forget to post what you did on Project #3!

Project #3 - Spreading Great Gossip

Project #3
You da’ Man

Spreading Great Gossip About Your Guy

“It isn’t what they say about you, it’s what they whisper.” Errol Flynn

 I’m not the whispering kind. If I think something, I’m going to say it or I’m going to shout it.

“My husband rocks!”

Your Project:
Say something nice about your husband to someone else. Make sure you tell him what you said, and to whom.


Getting Creative
Who are the important people in your husband’s life? Your kids, his parents, his friends? Be intentional about who you chat with when you brag on him – it’s almost as important as actually doing it.

Having a hard time coming up with something? I still brag on my guy for things he did years ago. And I highly encourage bragging about your husband in front of your kids, they will have a great example of building up people/friends/future spouses with kind words and they will learn how to treat their parents - with respect and admiration!

Here are some areas to think about when crafting your brag:

• His parenting skills
• His patience level
• The way he treats your mom
• His culinary ability
• His job
• His loyalty to you

How it went…

I must say that I love promoting my husband. Being married to someone as awesome as my honey, I can’t help it! ;) I did get the opportunity at work to tell my new co-workers how great my husband is at cooking. He’s quite clever at cooking without a recipe and having it come out tasting better than the restaurant. Plus, he’s a gluten-free friendly chef! I am not one to shy away from saying such things to others in front of him either and he loves to take those opportunities to talk about his love of cooking. Fortunate wife? Yes I am. I also love how if a challenge ever arises, like we’re all set to grill and we realize, uh-oh out of propane! He is able to quickly come up with a delicious alternative cooking method – way better than my ideas of pulling out the Foreman grill too! It makes me proud to share my husband’s talents with the world and it in turn re-enforces his confidence. A win-win!

Chef Hubby

My hubby's AWESOME bacon turkey creation!
Reminds me of Epic Meal Time!
(You just have to watch it...)

And today just so happens to be our 4 month anniversary! Yay! :)

What did you do?

After you complete this project, come back and post your name and results for Project #3 below, every time you post your results to a project you’re entered to win a copy of The Husband Project! For additional entries, post your results after each project. (i.e. you can enter to win up to 5 times by posting your results on every project) At the end of the project I will pick a winner at random Sunday 9/25 evening.

And don't forget to post what you did on Project #2!

Project #2 – Back In The Day

Project #2

Back in the Day

Do Something He Enjoyed Before You Got Married

“Lust is easy.  Love is hard.  Like is most important.”  ~ Carl Reiner

I love this quote. I once heard a husband who had been married to his wife for over 50 years say, “It’s great if you love your spouse, but love can fluctuate throughout time. To make a marriage last, you have to like the person.” Do you like your husband?

Your Project:

Initiate an activity that your partner used to love. Whether it’s his favorite hobby, sport, or pastime, it’s time for you to get involved – be his buddy today.

Getting Creative

• Many a man’s hobby has gone by the wayside due to matrimony. Is it possible that it’s time you learned to golf or fly fish? Don’t try to beat him, just join him.
• Possibly the only thing your husband would enjoy more than playing chess with you is teaching you how to play chess.  Ask for a lesson so he can teach you something that he is an expert at (or really loves). Just your willingness to learn will be a huge boost to your guy.
• Pick up a magazine about your guy’s now dormant hobby. Ask him questions about why he loves it so much. Learn a couple of technical terms so that you are better able to discuss it.
• Do a little research. Find out what the definitive website is on your husband’s favorite subject. Maybe there’s an event in town, a lecture to attend, or a game to watch.

How it went…

I am all for my husband hanging with his guy friends. Yes, we’re still newlyweds and don’t have kids, but I think it’s good for each of us to spend time with our friends and by ourselves to keep ourselves balanced. I can’t wait to see how we can balance that as time goes on.

Some of his hobbies have gone dormant, but a new one has evolved. Brewing! Yup, my honey has started brewing his own beer – a very ‘guy’ hobby. It’s something he can enjoy with his friends and I got involved!

See all those pretty caps? I put them on! Yay! It just so happened to be time to move the brew into the bottles to carbonate and I helped my husband by capping each of the 48 beer bottles! It was fun!

My husband enjoys doing things together, and working on his hobby as a couple made our time together that much more enjoyable. I’d like to think he enjoyed it more than just another set of hands to help out. ;)

What did you do?

After you complete this project, come back and post your name and your results for Project #2 below, every time you post your results to a project you're entered to win a copy of The Husband Project! For additional entries, post your results after each project. (i.e. you can enter to win up to 5 times by posting your results on every project) At the end of the project I will pick a winner at random Sunday 9/25 evening.


And don't forget to post what you did on Project #1!

Project #1 – 30 Minutes

So, after a false start over the weekend, let's jump into the 5 Day Husband Project!

 

Project #1

30 Minutes is All it Takes

Create Some Free Time When He Gets Home

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

Your Project

Focus on your husband's transitional 30 minutes today. Would he like to be left alone to rest and rejuvenate, or does he want some undivided attention from you? This doesn't mean you have to meet him at the door with a martini and a fresh batch of cookies and become June Cleaver (at least not all the time). The point is to let your husband know you value what he does out in the world, and that he has a safe loving place to come home and get refreshed at the end of the day.

Getting Creative
There are plenty of reasons why it might not be easy for you to give your husband or significant other some transition time at the end of the day. You need to look at what can work for your relationship. Be creative, like the stories listed below. Brainstorm with your friends until you find a situation that will work for you and your guy. Some ideas include:

• One wife purposely scheduled her daughter’s dance classes twice a week at the same hour that her husband gets home from work. That way, her hubby comes home to an empty house. He gets some quiet, and she gets a more peaceful man.

• One husband has his workshop out in the garage. His wife encourages him to go and hang out there for a while before dinner. (Since starting this arrangement, her husband has started helping out with the after-dinner clean up. Nice side benefit.)

• Crockpots are The Husband Project’s best friend. Set your crockpot to be finished thirty minutes after your husband gets home from work. Let him know that you don’t need anything until dinner is ready. Don’t know a crockpot from a flower pot? Check out the recipes in The Ultimate Guide to Man Food at www.kathilipp.com

• Does your husband already have a great transition routine after getting home? Find some other little thing to bless that time. Maybe it’s making sure the TV is available, his favorite sweats are clean and ready to be changed into, or there’s a cold soda waiting for him in the fridge. It may be so small that he doesn’t even notice. That’s okay – you’ll know what you did.

• What if your husband works from home? Maybe the best way to help him relax is to ask what he would like the schedule to be. Does he want dinner before or after he gets some time to recharge? Ask him what would make his night better.

How it went…

So this is a little different for my own situation. I just started a full-time job which I commute 45 minutes home from and my hubby works largely from home right now. So since there is no real transition time for him, upon arriving home I make it a point in the 30 minute time after I come home to ask about his day and show how interested and appreciative I am of what he has done. And a big thing is to pay more attention to the hubby than the puppy! Plus, I try to have dinner already planned out, so neither of us is frustrated trying to think of what’s for dinner which makes us a little more calm in the evenings. My honey is very happy to show me all that he has accomplished and enjoys the break from working mostly by himself. I’m always so proud when he shows me what he’s accomplished – even the little things!

What did you do?

After you complete this project, come back and post your results for Project #1 below, every time you post your results to a project, you're entered to win a copy of The Husband Project! For additional entries, post your results after each project. (i.e. you can enter to win up to 5 times by posting your results on every project) Put your name in your post so I can notify you in my giveaway winner announcement post! At the end of the project I will pick a winner at random Sunday 9/25 evening.